Normally, I feel fulfilled whenever I give good advices to people who have problems; whether it is about life in general, about love or just about anything. But I recently realized that there’s always an exception to the rule.
I newly broke up with the most amazing guy that I’ve ever met in my entire life. It turned out that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend so I decided to end the relationship before I even fall deeply in love with him and get hurt in the end. I regret that I didn’t give “us” a chance. My friends advised me to give him at least two months and if he still feels the way he does then that’s the time I should let go. But I thought to myself, by that time I would probably have deeper feelings for him and it would hurt me more if I’ll have to let him go. So I’ve decided to end it early. Probably, it was never meant for us to be together.
I determined to play along and help him out with his problems with her. Little did I know that I was pushing him to get back with her, and there I was, hurting even more than the break up did. I wasn’t aware that I was being a martyr again; still holding on to the thought that if I stayed, he’d probably realize that I was better. Indeed I am, he said so himself but I just wasn’t the one he’s in love with. That’s the horror of love, it’s like a poison that devours the whole you, and it’s like a trap that you can’t escape no matter how painful it is, no matter how heart-breaking it is, you will endure.
I can’t beat that! He was way too much in love with her to even see me. So I cut the relationship short. But I didn’t cut the communication. I played the martyr ex-girlfriend cum best friend. And every time I give him an advice on what to do next, it pains me more than I could possibly bear. It’s too late to bail out now. I was too involved now that it would hurt me more to leave him just like that.
Although I am suffering, I know that at least someone is getting his broken heart healed even at the expense of my own happiness.
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